Here’s a confession: I’ve regressed in my eagerness to deal with conflict.
When I was younger, I felt far more comfortable confronting conflict head on. I remember being a leader in student organizations and addressing different problems easily. If there was a way to do something better, we were going to do it. If somebody needed to be challenged, I was on it. No problem.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less confrontational. There are times this can be a good thing. But more often than not, it has made me more hesitant and far less willing to address certain challenges in a timely manner. In fact, I’m willing to admit that my unwillingness to confront conflict could be the single greatest gap in my personal leadership.
Recently, I heard a story about a cow and a buffalo that’s challenged me to better handle conflict this year.
I love when real life examples provide me with practical tools to live and lead at a higher level.
Let’s start with cows. Did you know that the natural reaction for a cow when it senses a storm coming is to run away from it? If the storm is moving from west to east, the cow will move further east, trying to outrun the storm. Here’s the problem: cows are slow. The storm will always catch up to them. And because the cow continues to try to run away from the storm, it will actually spend more time in the storm than if it had just stood still and never moved at all.
A buffalo takes a totally different approach. When a buffalo senses a storm coming, it moves toward it. If the storm is moving from west to east, the buffalo moves west and will move headfirst into the storm. Because the buffalo is going one direction as the storm is moving the opposite way, it will end up spending far less time in the storm than the cow.
When approaching conflict, I’m not saying it’s good to be a bull (or a buffalo) in a China shop. A love for conflict and a desire for constant confrontation is not a good thing.
But this example of the cow and the buffalo is meant to remind us of this principle: when we see a challenge and are willing to face it head on, the consequences are fewer and the resolution comes more quickly.
So this week: Turn around. Face the conflict you’ve been running away from. And meet your next challenge head on.
