In recent years, some leaders have made a distinction between “quantity time” and “quality time” in relationships.
The assertion is that we don’t need much time, as long as we provide a limited amount of focused attention.
I think this is a false dichotomy.
A few weeks ago, I introduced my new book: Inspired Every Day: Three Indispensable Ingredients to Connect With Your Passion and the three crucial elements necessary to genuine inspiration:
A purpose to live for,
A problem to tackle, and
A partnership with likeminded people.
Over the past couple of weeks, I explained why purpose is paramount to inspiration and how problems produce tenacity. Today, we’re discussing why maintaining solid partnerships requires our time.
In my most important relationships—with my wife, my kids, our team, and my best friends—it doesn’t work for me to limit our time together and to suggest that it’s fine because it’s “quality” time. It doesn’t work for me to say, “I know I’ve been really busy and preoccupied, so let’s plan on having an intense, meaningful conversation between 7:30 and 8:00 tonight. Are we on for that? I’ll pencil you in.”
We need at least enough time to get comfortable with each other, to see each other in a variety of situations, to feel unhurried as we talk about things that are important to us, and to feel safe enough to take off our masks and be more real. Quantity time is essential for us to have quality connections.
When we invest our time and our hearts with people, a bond may be established. Most of us have experienced being separated from close friends for long stretches of time, but when we reconnect, we pick up right where we left off. We feel comfortable, at home, safe, and thrilled to see each other again.
However, that doesn’t always happen—we may have great friends at one point in our lives, but distance and responsibilities can cause those connections to atrophy. The reality is that there are friends for particular seasons of life, and this is OK.
But if you’re feeling distant in one of your most important relationships, it might be worth looking in the mirror and asking yourself how much time you’ve invested into this person recently. If the answer is “not much” or “not enough,” it’s time to pick up the phone, plan the date, initiate the conversation, and show this individual that you care for them by giving them not just “quality” time but a decent “quantity” of time—the time needed to connect, to encourage one another, and to be inspired!
If you’re interested in learning more about how to stay inspired and how to inspire others, click the link below and purchase a copy of my new book!
