I believe that many people in our world today are facing a crisis of identity.
A word of caution: I’m about to use a Biblical example to illustrate a principle. I’d encourage you to read the passage, but I also believe that it has application regardless of your faith perspective.
Recently, I was studying Matthew 4 and noticed something about this passage that I have never seen before. In the accounts of the life of Jesus, right after he was baptized, a voice from heaven said (from God), ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased’” (Matt. 3:17).
What’s fascinating, is in the very next section labeled “The Temptation of Jesus” his identity is questioned. Jesus was challenged with this statement: “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread” (Matt. 4:3).
Think about it: the attack on Jesus was directly related to his identity.
In one verse we hear “this is my beloved Son” and right after we get, “If you are the Son of God…”
Consider this: if the identity of Jesus was challenged, you can bet that each of our identities will be challenged as well.
Many people today are questioning who they are because their identity is not secure.
In other words, their identity isn’t rooted in something unchanging. Too many of us allow different people, different times, and different mediums to define us. The attacks on our identity can come in many shapes and sizes.
Here are three of the most common things that cause all us to question our identity:
1. Struggles
When we face challenges or difficult circumstances, it’s easy to question who we are. When we struggle in school, don’t get into college, get passed over for the promotion, or are in a failing relationship, we can question our identity because life looks so much different than we hoped it would.
2. Situations
When we want the situation of another person, it can cause us to question our identity. Am I as smart as he is? Am I as pretty as she is? How much money are they making? When we are measuring our identity by what we don’t have, we can question who we are.
3. Success
This may seem counterintuitive, but when we experience success we can base our identity on our achievement. When we compare ourselves to other people who appear to have less than we do, we wrongly find our identity in our success and rest in our own pride. This is a dangerous way to view ourselves.
When legendary basketball coach Jimmy Valvano was in the final days of his life, he reflected on an interaction he had with his players as a young coach. His players asked, “Why is winning so important to you?” And he responded by saying, “Because the final score defines you. You lose, ergo, you’re a loser. You win, ergo, you’re a winner.” But his players insisted: “No, participation is what matters. Trying your best regardless of whether you win or lose—that’s what defines you.” Twenty-four years later, Valvano said, “Those kids were right. It’s effort, not result. It’s trying . . . What a great human being I could have been if I’d had this awareness back then.”
George’s t-ball coach said this year, “Our number one goal is to have fun, but it is a lot more fun when you win.” He’s right! And it’s certainly not wrong to want to win. But if your identity is based on winning or losing, it’s based on a moving target.
Here’s my encouragement: The world is looking for centered leaders. Leaders who know who they are. Leaders who are anchored in their values, driven toward a mission, and fueled by a purpose.
Don’t allow struggles, situations, or success define you.
Find your identity in something bigger than yourself.
