Anyone who aspires to lead should always be careful for potential pitfalls. One of the most challenging for me is the desire for approval.
Don’t act like it’s just me—we’ve all been there. I know there are other affirmation-seeking, people-pleasing, applause-aholics. We yearn for someone to tell us how great we are, and the worst thing in the world for us to hear is a critique.
However, when those critiques are offered, we become fixated upon them. We finish a performance or a project, and the loudest voices will be those eager to offer criticism.
For me, it happens all the time. I finish an appearance on FOX News, and I read the negative tweets first. A meeting wraps up at our office, and the person with the bad attitude and a scowl is the one who affects my mood. At the end of a speech, the one individual who offers their criticism is the one that I remember.
Let me be clear, constructive feedback is something we should purposefully seek out. But pure, raw criticism is something we must ignore, because the one thing that people will criticize most may be the very thing you’re doing differently. And the thing you’re doing different from others may be the very thing that will change the world.
If you’re in the same boat as me, listen up. Read the quotes below and make a decision today—you will not allow the individuals who seek to detract and discourage you to derail you from doing what you’ve been called to do!
Your calling is far too important to let criticism keep you from it.
“If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and will achieve nothing.” – Margaret Thatcher, The First Female British Prime Minister
“The opposite of courage is not cowardice; it’s conformity.” – Jim Hightower, Former Elected Commissioner of the Texas Department of Agriculture
“Listen very carefully to the first criticism of your work. Note just what it is about your work that the reviewers don’t like; it may be the only thing in your work that is original and worthwhile.” – John Irving, Novelist and Academy Award-Winning Screenwriter
If you want to do something that matters, you will have people who will disagree with you, dislike you, and will even try to discredit you.
Receiving criticism is evidence that you are doing something that matters.
This week, consider your critics.
Do you have any? If not, are you being bold and brave in the work you do?
Remember this, “They don’t build concrete statues for critics!”
For more thoughts on criticism, check out my book 8 Essential Exchanges: What You Have to Give Up to Go Up.
